i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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