Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
