just come out here and I will go home with you...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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