Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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