i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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