I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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