It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
