Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
