there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
