Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
