I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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