sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
