I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize