singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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