Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
