Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
