??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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