ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
