before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
