Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
