i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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