Dual....:-)
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
