Non-Jews are for practice
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
