Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize