they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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