you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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