best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
