So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
