I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
