have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
