I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
