Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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