yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
