One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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