My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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