awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
