True but thats because hes a fetus.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
