please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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