I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
