I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
