reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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