You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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