No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
