How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
