true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
