She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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