Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
