i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i barfeds in our rink
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
