Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize
