i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize