If that was your dad, he is hot
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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