Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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