no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize