My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize