Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
