somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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