i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
