Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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