put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
