It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
